Is Normal Good Enough?

Aaahh, life appears to be returning to normal. I've been able to keep the next relapse at bay and I'm feeling a lot better than I have in a very long time. But I'm concerned by what my new normal routine looks like:

• Wake up
• Throw breakfast and lunches together for the boys to be consumed elsewhere
• Cajole Daniel into getting dressed
• Wrestle Andy into his clothes
• Strap wings onto the van for the flight to daycare
• Install jet engine for the flight to work
• Collapse into chair at the office, grab a coffee, place injection kit on top of computer tower
• Avoid injection kit for at least two hours until it can't be avoided any longer
• Plough through piles of paperwork and check off things on 'to do' lists at the office
• Trip to bank on way to pick up the boys at daycare
• Arrive at home, unfasten and put away wings and jet engine
• Cobble dinner together (usually three different meals)
• Get boys ready for bed
• Collapse into a heap

Repeat four more times until the weekend arrives, then adjust as necessary.

In the meantime, the routine doesn't have much wiggle room to allow for personal interests, time with friends or family, cleaning the house, weeding the garden, playing the ukulele, and so on... House falls further into disrepair, weeds are now celebrating the arrival of their 20th generation born since 2011 (I think I saw a flag marking new territory conquered last time I looked out the window), ukulele - I'm sad to say it has a bit of dust on it, but not as much as the other stationary items in my home. Yikes. What am I going to do?

Here's what I'd like to do. Get rid of everything, sell the house and move into something smaller and more manageable. We're thinking - town home? A couple of flower pots will suffice for a garden and someone else can mow the lawn and deal with exterior maintenance items like painting the exterior of the building and cleaning the gutters. I'd like to be able to bring the playground with us - perhaps we can modify it to fit a postage stamp sized yard. I'd LOVE for the boys to be able to play outside without me having to hover.

Cleaning has become a big issue. Let me clarify - lack of cleaning has become a big issue. A close friend recently told me that I shouldn't worry about the dust too much, dusting once a week would be just fine. Really? <my choking and sputtering laughter in background> Once a week? I'm lucky if I dust once every two months!! Shocking. To think that I used to clean the house top to bottom every Saturday. I'd even move the furniture to vacuum underneath. Who was that person cleaning? Where did they get the energy? Where did they get the time? I can't recognize her from this distance - she's a blur. Perhaps we could afford for a cleaning service to come in once a week. It feels like admitting defeat though.

My apologies in advance here - some serious whining is about to take place. Yes, I know, difficult to imagine that it can ramp up beyond the whining that's already taken place in this entry. Ahem, here we go... cue the violins...

What happened to our lives? We feel like we've been trapped in some sort of strange bubble for a long time now - do other families actually have fun with their children? I desperately want to have the energy and time to take the boys hiking, camping and other fun activities, but I feel that having fun needs to come after all the chores are done. Frankly, Hell is going to freeze over before my chores are done. The boys (and Daryle too for that matter) must be a higher priority than dust. Sounds logical, but putting this into practice is difficult. Especially when neither cleaning nor family fun ever seem to happen. Something's gotta give, but what?