I heard from my neurologist's office yesterday. They left a message on my voicemail at home rather than phone me at work and talk with me directly. All this despite my request that they call me at the office. Sheesh.
However, my own pettiness aside...
Dr Traboulsee wants me to try Rebif again, this time at 22mcg per dose instead of 44mcg. I don't understand why a lower dose is going to make a difference - I had just barely finished the titration period and had only had one full 44mcg dose (aside from my accidental double dose) before my blood was drawn on Oct 19th.
I don't want to complain, but I don't know if I can handle going back on that particular drug. The cold/flu symptoms were bearable, but the rapidity and depth of the depression setting in was awful. Would it be wise to go back to those dark places at night, the foreboding, anxious feelings during the day? I'm sure Dr T will advise that there are many meds available to combat depression, but given the issues my liver was having I just don't feel comfortable adding more drugs to its daily diet. And besides, I would like the option to take an Advil to make the injections as comfortable as possible, but I don't think comfort outweighs possible liver damage. Poor liver, I'm trying to treat you well.
I've made my decision. I'm going to go against his advice and request to try Copaxone instead. It's my body - my decision.
Okay, change of topic. Slightly. I've left a message with a psychologist to set up an appointment. Scary. I'm a bundle of nerves even thinking about getting help, it feels like I'm admitting to a great weakness. But I owe it to myself and my family to explore my depression. I don't want to be a member of the MS depression club. I've done some research and have found a few therapists that treat people trying to come to grips with a dignosis of a nasty chronic disease. Let's see how it goes with Dr Tracy. Fingers crossed.
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